eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
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I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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