thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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