make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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