No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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