her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
God, you're like boner-b-gone
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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