I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
