I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
