Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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