Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
