I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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