its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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