so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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