Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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