My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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