I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Just cropdusted the office
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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