I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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