I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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