My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
