I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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