i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My vagina is officially offended.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
