Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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