theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
