Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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