Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize