Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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