You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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