We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
They took my balls.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
