Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
