Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
