Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You pole danced in your parka.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
