Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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