Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
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