i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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