If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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