Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
