Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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