I was born with a shot glass in my hand
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize