Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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