the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
