I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
