we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
