Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just invented taco cereal.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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