You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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