Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
