i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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