the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
