New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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