I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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