quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
