She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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