She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
