Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize