Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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