Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
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I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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