She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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